First A Hug For Telling The Truth

To a child, admitting wrongdoing may feel a lot riskier
than we realize.

“I didn’t do it!” wails Junior, denying having messed up your new flower bed in spite of telltale footprints all over the crime scene.

It’s bad enough when children misbehave, we say, but why do they have to lie about it? Why don’t they just ‘fess up when we confront them with something?

One simple reason. They’re scared. And the more afraid they are, the more likely they are to resort to lying to escape our wrath, or to avoid getting hurt (or having their feelings hurt) or to avoid losing our love and approval.

To a vulnerable and dependent child, admitting wrongdoing to a powerful, giant parent may feel a lot riskier than we think. Of course, not admitting is risky, too, but if they’re used to having someone “jump down their throat” the minute they own up to something, lying may seem like a worthwhile gamble.

But what if we parents tried a different approach? Like this: 

1) Assure our children that we’ll always first give them a big hug just for telling us the truth; 2) Then show them we’ll always just attack the problem (their misbehavior) not denigrate them as a person. In so doing, our children will learn that nothing they admit to us will make it worse for their having done so.

This doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t apply reasonable and consistent consequences when children engage in bad behavior. But good consequences, respectfully administered, are not intended to hurt as much as simply to teach--teach children to avoid the kind of choices that are sure to cause problems for them in the future.

Of course, learning from even reasonable consequences (like making restitution, for example) can be painful, but in working at correcting problems, inflicting pain is not the primary goal. Our children don’t need to feel we’ve become their adversary when we’re focusing on their misbehavior. In fact, once they acknowledge the problem, we can become their number one ally in helping them deal with it.

With this approach, the message we’re giving the misbehaving child is very simple, and is always the same: "We love you, we believe in you, and we’re always ready to forgive you and help you become a more responsible and respectful person."

When a child begins to experience this kind of “tough grace” whenever they’re truthful, their lying is almost sure to diminish. 

Whose Marvelous And Spacious Mansion Is This Anyway? A Parable

The builder-in-chief is the Son of God and a master carpenter,

"Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything."

(Hebrews 3:1–4 NIV)

Once upon a time, a Triune Being of unimaginable wealth and beneficence created a huge mansion with many, many rooms. This was not only designed for the sake of the Builder, but as a place of hospitality and welcome for homeless and dispossessed humanity everywhere.

The place soon began to fill with grateful tenants from all corners of the globe, from many backgrounds and of all races and nationalities. At first they celebrated a joyful bond of unity with each other due to their common dependance on the Owner and Builder, and for the sheer gratitude they felt for all the benefits they enjoyed.

As time went on, however, as the Triune One went about welcoming new members from around the world into this place of refuge and nurture, some residents began to undertake some interior remodeling of the mansion based on their own designs for how the house should be divided and arranged. Thus entire sections of this once beautiful house of many rooms began to be partitioned off for people of like mind, one following another, then another. Over time, the house became a confusing labyrinth of passages and partitions, each with labels and with subcontracts and subletting agreements for different groups of residents who suspected others of not being of worthy residents.

The Lord of the house, seeing this, was incensed. "This home was dedicated as a house of prayer and welcome for all nations, but you have made it a den of division!"

In the end, it was made clear that such divisions would not stand, and that the house was to be restored in keeping with its original blueprint. Thus residents were recruited from all corners of the house to assist in the work.

Some of my inspiration for this post came from blogger and author Frank Viola.

A Telling Lecture By Valley Historian Larry Yates

Four Major Obstacles To Raising A Million $$ At Our Virginia Mennonite Relief Sale

As a part of an initiative last year to increase funds raised at our Virginia Relief Sale for Mennonite Central Committee (MCC), some of us came up with a plan to solicit cash donations in addition to the money raised from food and auction sales.

In a moment of madness a year ago, I even suggested we could raise $1 million, more than double our usual total, by having 5,000 wage earning Sale attendees (of the over 10,000 total persons who come each year) plan ahead to spend an average of $200 each and to add an average of another $200 as an outright gift. That would, for many, be a doable $400 gratitude offering, less than 1% of their income for most.

Realistically, I was quite sure that would never happen, since most would feel they could never afford this much, which would require others to make much larger investments to achieve a $400 average. But I remain convinced that we have way more than enough wealth in our community to be able to do that and far more. Compared to the needs of most of the recipients of MCC assistance, we are rich beyond imagination.

As it turned out, the Sharing Our Surplus (SOS) giving table brought in over $40,000 at the Sale, which many felt was a good start, and in fact amounted to over 10% of the total Sale money raised last year.

But that still represents only a fraction of what a community like ours could do. We could easily raise multiple millions without it causing any actual hardship on our part.

So why is that kind of beyond-the-tithe outpouring of generosity not likely to happen? I can think of  four possible reasons:

1) Our Sense of Personal Entitlement

It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to persuade people like us to voluntarily give up our power and privilege.  That doesn't mean that we can't be motivated to give more generously, but only as long as it doesn't diminish our assets or reduce what we have saved for a rainy day or for our retirement. With the help of our financial advisors, we carefully plan our giving so we will continue to add to our net worth every year of our earning life, and not to subtract from it.

But that level of giving on the part of wealthy North American and European Christians will never make more than a dent in world problems like hunger, disease and homelessness. In the Mark 8 account of Jesus feeding the masses, he asks his followers to make available whatever they had, creating a miracle of generosity that not only allowed everyone to have enough but to enjoy 7 baskets full of good bread left over.

2) Our Competing Spending Wants and "Needs"

At some level most of us are exceedingly generous givers, but we do the bulk of our giving at WalMart, at the local mall, on Amazon, at gourmet restaurants, at local car dealerships and at travel locations near and far. And most of us have dreams of other future investments we want to make as soon as we have the means, a lakeside cabin, new living room furniture, an expansive renovation project, a wished for business venture, an RV for a retirement travel, etc., adding to our ever expanding wish lists.

3) Competing Appeals From Other Good Causes

It's hard to generate relief funds from congregations in the middle of their raising millions for building programs or who are trying to pay down their debts on past capital projects. Church-related institutions like schools and retirement communities are likewise forever adding to or renovating their facilities at levels that require millions upon millions of dollars. Compared to the needs of refugees living in tents in the heat of summer and in the cold of winter, appeals for air conditioning and other renovation and expansion needs promoted by our church-related institutions always seem to deserve the greater priority. These 'needs' are close at hand and involve people and causes we have a greater sense of connection with and loyalty to. Besides, many have development departments that are into full time fundraising, something refugee communities don't have.

4) Lack of First Hand Awareness of Needs

I have no doubt that if homeless refugee families were desperately fleeing into our area from surrounding states and setting up makeshift shelters in nearby fields, that we would be mobilizing all possible resources to help them. Seeing real people by the thousands having to live in tents and relying on food and water brought in by outside aid groups would move us to a far different level of response. Or one night spent in such circumstances ourselves due to displacement and the loss of all of our possessions by flood, fire, war or some other disaster would completely change our perspective.

But do we have to have something terrible to happen to us in order for God to get our attention?

This summer some members of our community are taking part in one of several two-week mission trips to refugee sites in Jordan and Turkey. We should each arrange to meet with some of them afterwards in order to get a better up-close-and-personal look at the plight of refugees living in today's versions of concentration camps.

In light of the four obstacles mentioned, it may take something like the Pentecostal power of a violent rushing wind and of heads on fire with the Holy Spirit to break us out of the grip of our culture of wealth and ease. As someone has noted, the good news is that God has all of the treasure needed to feed and house everyone. The bad news is that God doesn't normally pry it out of our wallets and our bank accounts.

Then there are crises in places like Yemen, Myanmar and parts of Africa where conditions may be even worse.

Being Smart And Being Wise Are Not The Same

Over the past three months I had the rewarding experience of teaching a "Bible class" at our house with our two local grandsons age 8 and 11. Their church meets nearby, and this was an opportunity for me to have some special time with them during their usual Sunday School hour.

We called this a "Basic Bible Knowledge" course, one introducing them to more of the Bible's stories as well as adding inspiring stories of believers since who have been impacted by the Bible's message. I emphasized that this was not only about helping them become more smart about how to know what's in the Bible, but to help them to become more wise in learning to live in ways that would cause the least regret and result in the greatest happiness.

Among the items on their final open book "exam" were the following:

1. Write the most important commandment in the Bible, and the one Jesus said we should consider equally important (We stressed these often as key themes in scripture). 

2. Number these in the order they appear in the Bible: ___Abraham and Sarah    ___Ruth     ___Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego    ___Joshua  ___Adam and Eve  ___Isaac  ___Joseph  ___Jesus   ___Jacob (Israel)  ___King David  ___Noah   (These were among the stories we reviewed)

3. Arrange these in the order they are found in the Bible: Stories of Hebrew history (Joshua, Judges, Ruth, I and II Samuel, etc)  ___Books of Poetry (Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Ecclesiastes)  ___the Jesus Stories And Teachings (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John)  ____Moses Stories and Laws (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) ____The Prophets (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Amos, etc.)

4.  In your own words, what is the difference between being smart and being wise?

Some of the above were a little challenging for young men of this age, but we they were great students and easily passed their "test" with a little help. 

I especially like the 11-year-old's answer to the last question: 

"Being smart is like you know a lot. Being wise is like you know what is right and wrong and you do the right thing."

I couldn't have said it better.

On Never Calling Human Beings "Animals"

God clearly has a heart for the alien and stranger.

Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, “I am an alien and stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” 

Genesis 23:3-4

Moses said, "I have become an alien in a foreign land." 

Exodus:18:3b

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.  

Leviticus 19:33-34

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the aliens residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt.  

Deuteronomy 10:17-19

But you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and that the Lord your God redeemed you from there; therefore I am commanding you to do this thing. When you reap your harvest in your field and have forgotten a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow, in order that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. When you beat your olive tree, you shall not go over the boughs again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow.  When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I am commanding you to do this thing.  

Deuteronomy 24:18-22

Cursed be anyone who withholds justice from the alien, the fatherless or the widow.  

Deuteronomy 27:19 

At this, she (Ruth, a Moabite) bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, "Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you (Boaz, a prominent Israelite) should notice me, a foreigner?"

Ruth 2:10

Then all the elders and those at the gate said, "May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your house like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel."

Ruth 4:11

David (Ruth's grandchild) praised the Lord in the presence of the whole assembly, saying, "We are aliens and strangers in your sight, as were all our ancestors."  

I Chronicles, 29:15a

The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and widow.  

Psalm 146:9

Let no foreigner who is bound to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely exclude me from his people.” And foreigners who bind themselves to the Lord to minister to him, to love the name of the Lord, and to be his servants, all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it and who hold fast to my covenant— these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations.”  

Isaiah 56: 3, 6, 7

If you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood, and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will dwell with you in this place.  

Jeremiah 7:5-7

You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household.   

Ephesians 2:19

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 

Hebrews 13:2

Pentecost: A Royal Preview Of What's To Come

How many languages, how many ethnicities, are found in most of our churches?

"When the Feast of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Without warning there was a sound like a strong wind, gale force—no one could tell where it came from. It filled the whole building. Then, like a wildfire, the Holy Spirit spread through their ranks, and they started speaking in a number of different languages as the Spirit prompted them.

"There were many Jews staying in Jerusalem just then, devout pilgrims from all over the world. When they heard the sound, they came on the run. Then when they heard, one after another, their own mother tongues being spoken, they were thunderstruck. They couldn’t for the life of them figure out what was going on, and kept saying, “Aren’t these all Galileans? How come we’re hearing them talk in our various mother tongues?

Parthians, Medes, and Elamites;

Visitors from Mesopotamia, Judea, and Cappadocia,

    Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia,

    Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene;

Immigrants from Rome, both Jews and proselytes;

Even Cretans and Arabs!

They’re speaking our languages, describing God’s mighty works!”  

(Acts 2:1-8, the Message)

"After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb."

(Revelation 7:9a, NIV)

In today's celebration of the birthday of the Christian movement, I'm impressed by how God's Spirit brings into deep oneness diverse people from all over the world. To the extent that today's churches, by contrast, are made up of mostly of people of the same race, language and national origin, we are falling short of reflecting God's original and ultimate intent.

If we believe God is all about bringing people together in an eternal reunion, we need to begin living into that reality now. It's certainly clear that at the annual Pentecost harvest festival described above, God is birthing a new community with this end in mind, a rainbow of people of all colors and with all kinds of differences. We need to get with the program.

In the Acts 2 account we see urban Romans at fellowship with desert dwellers in Arabia. unsophisticated Cretans with strait-laced Jews, thousands of men and women, young and old, representing three continents and speaking multiple languages. It's hard to imagine any more unlikely candidates for becoming a united family of faith. 

And yet it happened, a divine sign of the coming age.

We've lost sight of that. We tend to operate in ways that wedge us further apart, and along the same fissure lines that are so dividing and subdividing the world in every more polarized ways. Sadly, the church has become as worldly as the world around it in this respect, and appears to be far from becoming the diverse but unified colony of heaven God meant it to be.

Today we need to re-envison a kind of future that is all about that grand, eternal reunion, while we celebrate the grand birth of a movement that is a 'pre-union', a living and loving sign of God's future world.

Rachel Stoltzfus, 1925-2017

Meanwhile, last Sunday marks a year since the death of Rachel Stoltzfus, for many years a beloved and faithful member of our house church. She and her late husband always had a least one international student sharing their home, and for a decade after his passing, she continued to be a living expression of God's hospitality toward students from all over the world.

She never got to travel abroad, and never even saw the ocean until just a few years before she died, but God brought the world to her door, and moved by the Spirit of Pentecost, she just invited everyone in.

May we all learn to do the same.

These were among the people whose lives Rachel touched.