Divorce Numbers Spike In Our Community

In the introduction to his book "Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way", M. Gary Neuman opens with, "Why do couples divorce? Usually because one or both partners believe that ending the marriage will free them to create happier, emotionally healthy lives for themselves and their children." 

After making that cheerful assertion, Neuman goes on to say that if parents handle their divorce in a mature and respectful way, that their children will do just fine. In  other words, a marriage breakup need be no more traumatic than, say, a bad house fire or a move to another state. 

But is this usually the case? 

Thankfully, many children of divorce manage to recover well in spite of the dismantling of their household as they have known it. But based on my own observation, amicable divorces may actually result in more distress for children than the angry ones, at least in cases when the anger is associated with outrageous and clearly unacceptable behavior on the part of one or more of the parents involved. In those circumstances, or when there is ongoing adultery or abuse going on, children can clearly understand the reason for the divorce and may even feel genuine relief when it happens.

But when two otherwise loving, supportive parents call it quits and go about explaining that how they are going to have a nice, friendly divorce, children are confused. Why can’t these nice people they love so much just work things out, just a they expect their kids to do when they’re not getting along?

For better or for worse, 612 couples in Harrisonburg and Rockingham County decided to call it quits last year. This represents a dramatic increase over last year, when our number was 474, just ten short of the highest annual recorded number, 484, in 2013. And this doesn't include an untold number of undocumented hookups and breakups that are unaccounted for (Meanwhile, the number of marriage licenses issued last year was 985, actually less than the high of 1003 reached in 2001). 

Assuming our family breakups involve an average of one child per unit, that's over 600 children whose lives will never be the same, and whose own future marriages may suffer from the lack of a healthy, amicable and stable marital models to build on.

Here are the numbers, each representing its own untold story:

Year           Marriages     Divorces

1996           873                 387

1997           950                 405

1998           964                 396

1999           932                 405

2000           947                 365

2001          1003                438     (most annual marriages)

2002           976                 421

2003           961                 399

2004           959                 437

2005           889                 381

2006           929                 389

2007           925                 434

2008           950                 405

2009           903                 347     (fewest annual divorces)

2010           879                 358     (fewest annual marriages since 1996)

2011           933                 433

2012           995                 445

2013           924                 484     

2014           972                 427

2015           955                 474

2016           985                 612     (most annual divorces)

Clarification: Marriage numbers include those who come here from other locations to marry, whereas divorce numbers include only the breakups of who live in the City or County. However, it seems logical to assume that a roughly equal number of residents marry in other jurisdictions as marry here from other communities, so the numbers above should be reasonably valid for comparison purposes.

Footnote: The above numbers don't mean that over half of the couples getting married today are doomed to break up. Maybe their marriages will be more enduring than those entered in to in earlier years and that are now failing. And of course many of those divorcing are already in their second, third or fourth try.

On the other hand, were we to include all of the "undocumented" marriages to our numbers, the number of total breakups would be far greater. These are the increased number of couples who have "left father and mother" (become a separate household), "cleaved to each other" (become an exclusive couple) and "joined together as one flesh" (sexually consummated their relationship), only without benefit of a marriage license or a wedding ceremony. Contrary to popular opinion, their resulting undocumented "divorces" can be just as painful and disruptive, especially when children are involved.

In cases involving ongoing abuse, adultery or addictions on the part of a partner, a marital separation may not be justified, and even be a necessity. But adult partners who simply haven't learned to get along should seek whatever help necessary to resolve their differences and repair their relationship, rather than just head for the nearest exit. After all, we expect our children to work things when they disagree, not just give up on the family.

"Christianica"--US Civil Religion On Steroids

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"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."     - II Chronicles 7:14 (KJV)

The United States, like many nations, interpret passages like these as personally addressed to them, as the "my people, called by God's name" referred to in the text, set apart as unique and exceptional. 

According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau, this form of  “civil religion” is a means of unifying a nation by giving it sacred legitimacy and authority. In fact, all nations seem to develop some form of ideology for this purpose. For example, during World War II Nazi soldiers wore belt buckles with the words "Gott Mitt Uns" ("God with us") engraved on them, suggesting that God was clearly on their side.

The Reverend Franklin Graham has emerged as one of many apostles of this nationalist religion, recently noting: “Hundreds of thousands of Christians from across the United States have been praying. This year they came out to every state capitol to pray for this election and for the future of America. Prayer groups were started. Families prayed. Churches prayed. Then Christians went to the polls, and God showed up. While the media scratches their heads and tries to understand how this happened, I believe that God’s hand intervened Tuesday night to stop the godless, atheistic progressive agenda from taking control of our country... My prayer is that God bless America again!”

The implication is that all things wicked and godless are on one side of the political debate and that God will bless only one party's vision of liberty and justice for all. The truth is that God stands in judgment of all of the world's temporary principalities and powers, and that God's real mission is to save and reconcile all peoples on earth, and to engage each one of us in that mission.

At January 20 inauguration Graham made the following remarks: "Mr. President, in the Bible, rain is a sign of God's blessing. And it started to rain, Mr. President, when you came to the platform. And it's my prayer that God will bless you, your family, your administration, and may He bless America."

Graham then read from 1 Timothy 2:1-6, a beautiful text which exhorts believers to pray for their leaders, including notoriously godless ones like Nero, and concluded with 1 Timothy 1:17 (see above), which reads,"Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."

Trust me, I am a wholehearted believer in this prayer and benediction, and I want nothing but God's equal blessing for everyone in the whole world. But used in this context we imply that God's relationship to one nation, representing some 5% of the world's population, is a special one, quite the opposite of what the New Testament (and the I Timothy text) actually teach. For example:

1. The apostle Paul, in this first century church letter, is clearly not endorsing the Roman empire or any other nation as being God's special people, and it would be hard to imagine him offering a prayer at an emperor's coronation. Rather, he taught that God's people are all those from every nation who pledge allegiance to Jesus as Lord and are committed to him as their supreme authority. Meanwhile they live as "resident aliens" in the God-ordained but secular nations they inhabit.

2. In this text Paul is clearly urging us to first pray for all people everywhere, and then for all kings (plural), emperors, rulers, presidents and prime ministers elsewhere in the world.

3. The purpose of this prayer is that all believers everywhere may live in contexts of peace and stability, allowing for God's saving and reconciling message to be freely lived and proclaimed.

Marcus Miller, a teacher at Iowa Mennonite School, recently quoted Mike Pence on Facebook regarding the passage Pence chose to place his fingers on when he taking the vice-presidential oath of office,  2 Chronicles 7:14. Conflating scripture with the American Pledge of Allegiance, Pence stated, "... if His people who are called by His name will humble themselves and pray, He will hear from heaven, and He – as He’s always done before – He will heal our land. One nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.” 

Miller comments, "Pence’s quote represents the worst combination of bad theology, bad history and American exceptionalism. What we end up with is a patriotism mashed together with religion and this thing referred to as 'American Christianity' that often contradicts the values taught by Jesus and scriptures."

Ironies abound in this kind of wedding of church and state, such as the use of a Bible that forbids the swearing of oaths as a part of the swearing in ritual, Pence's laying his hand on the Bible Ronald Reagan used at his inauguration (casting the former president as an idealized model of a godly leader), and the elevation of a twice divorced billionaire into that same sacred place of honor.

This is not to denigrate the preciousness and worth of every human being involved in our national civil rituals, and I want to join all of you in praying for them, and for the wellbeing of the nation, every day. Only to say that in any marriage of the Christian church and the nation state it is the latter that will always play the dominant role. 

Here's a link to some additional blogs on civil religion, beginning with one on the role the "Second Beast", or "False Prophet", plays in world empires.

And here's something on Trump's religious convictions by Stanley Hauerwas: 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2017/01/27/christians-dont-be-fooled-trump-has-deep-religious-convictions/?utm_term=.12bf5a96c6c2

Four Sound Ways to Reduce Incarceration

"If the risk is low, let them go"

Nearly 40 percent of U.S. prisoners are behind bars for no compelling public safety reason, according to a recent report by NYU's Brennan Center for Justice. Their groundbreaking analysis shows how to drastically cut our prison population while still keeping crime rates low.

Some day we will look back at our 18th century-based practice of warehousing people in steel cages as not only an unusually cruel form of punishment but as extraordinarily costly and unproductive.

We could do far better using restorative approaches that would require people to make restitution to their victims and/or enable them to get actual treatment for their addictions. Temporary confinement may still be necessary for offenders who are clearly a danger to their community, but long term incarceration should never be accepted as the norm.

Here are four ways to help reduce the human and financial costs of over-incarceration:

1. Regularly post the actual costs of our courts' decisions. Prison sentences carry a hefty price tag, not only involving the $28,000 or more per year for each inmate's room and board, but also the untold cost in wages and taxes lost for their communities and families, plus the cost of increased social services needed when breadwinners are removed from the community.

2. Make each local jurisdiction responsible for the cost of incarcerating their own offenders. Virginia's state-funded Department of Corrections represents a $1 billion a year industry, and as with every expense covered by the state, there is no free lunch. Professor W. David Ball of the Santa Clara University School of Law recommends that states defund prisons and make counties pay for inmates they incarcerate. Or the state could collect revenue as before and allocate the money now spent on prisons to counties (based on their violent crime rate), who would then need to determine their communities’ priorities.

3. Require each prosecutor, judge, magistrate and law enforcement officer to spend a day at a prison or jail once a year. This was proposed for judges by former Virginia Attorney General Mark Earley at a community meeting held here over a year ago, in order for them to "see where they are sending people". The purpose would not be to have officials become softer on crime, but to encourage them to consider more humane and effective alternatives to incarceration.

4. Urge the Parole Board to free aging, physically ill and other inmates who qualify for release. Due to excessively long sentences, the cost of caring for our aging prison population is increasing dramatically, while the likelihood of older persons committing crimes is greatly reduced. Too many inmates who for years have demonstrated exemplary behavior have been denied parole year after year in spite of their best efforts. 

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Tomiko Shine, researcher with Maryland’s RAPP (Release Aging Persons In Prison) will lead a discussion on this at the Trinity Presbyterian Church at noon Thursday, February 9, along with Earl Nelson, recently released after spending 48 years in prison. This will be followed by a 1 pm showing of producer Wynona Hogan’s just released 55-minute documentary on our local Rockingham and Middle River jails.

Americans Dependent On Massive Foreign Aid

Huffington Post photo

"Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who have toiled in your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter."

          -James 5:4-5 (NIV)

"America First" is a slogan we hear a lot these days, accompanied by calls to "Buy American" and to make America great again by buying more "Made in America" products.

Reality check. Relying on US-produced goods for our day-to-day consumption would leave most of us stripped of many of the garments, gadgets and gourmet meals we've become so dependent on.

Let's start with our over-ample food supply. While the US still produces megatons of corn, grain, meat and other food products for our tables and to export to the rest of the world, an increasing percentage of our daily diet comes from far off parts of the US (where many of the crops are harvested by immigrant labor) or from Central America, South America and from other places as far away as China, with field hands in all of those countries making a pittance each day.

Think pineapples--or bananas, or citrus fruits, or strawberries. Where do most of these varieties of delicacies come from, and who harvests them and ships them here? And why do bananas, imported from far south of our border, cost half as much per pound as locally grown apples? Or how can apples imported from China compete with what are grown right here in our Valley?

It's all about the cost of human labor.

Next, let's take a stroll through our walk-in closets. Check the tags: "Made in Vietnam", "Made in China... Bangladesh... South Korea... Indonesia", the list of foreign products goes on and on. Actual US textile mills and garment factories are so few and far between that we'd be threadbare within a decade without foreign imports. Or if we were to revive an American clothing industry massive enough to match consumer demand, the cost to keep us clad in the manner to which we've become accustomed would be prohibitive.

Again, it's all about the cost of labor.

Finally, there are our many tech toys. For lack of time (and a lack of expertise on the subject), I won't try to describe how much "hardship" we would endure without cheaply produced smart phones and other high tech products that foreign miners and other workers are turning out around the clock--all to satisfy our appetites for the latest gadgets.

The sobering fact is that most of our communities would be at a loss to know how to produce even a fraction of what we feel we need for our survival (let alone the need to hold on to the standard of living to which we've become accustomed). So in the meantime we're going to remain dependent on tons of "foreign aid" coming our way through the contributions of millions of overworked and underpaid international workers.

So let's call this what it is, foreign blood sweat and tears--billions of dollars worth of it pouring into our well stocked malls, supermarkets and homes every day.

Dan Bowman Lights Up A New Documentary

photo courtesy film producer Shaun Wright

Blind since age 12, Daniel Bowman is truly a legend in his own time.

He is now mostly retired, but during his 76 busy years he's earned an enviable reputation, first as a vocational rehabilitation counselor, then as a local piano tech and furniture craftsman, and always as an unforgettably engaging human being.

Two associate professors in JMU's School of Media Arts and Design believe it's time the rest of the world learns more about his story.

Mike Grundmann and Shaun Wright have produced a half-hour documentary on Bowman titled "A Good Blinder" that will be shown at the Court Square Theater in Harrisonburg at 7 pm Tuesday, January 31, along with the premier showings of two other short films recently released by members of the same JMU department. Having known Dan as a fellow student at EMU and as a valued community neighbor, I am really looking forward to attending this event. Admission is free.

I've always been amazed at Dan's talents as an accomplished organist and pianist and as an expert in tuning instruments, as well as his amazing skills as a craftsman. Some of the results of his woodworking hobby have raised a total of $12,500 at the annual Mennonite Relief Sales held at the Rockingham County Fairgrounds each fall. One of his wooden marble rollers alone brought $3700 at one of the auctions. Currently Dan is working on a model of a grist mill with a water wheel, complete with moving wooden parts.

At midlife, Dan added a second masters degree to his resume, an MDiv from Eastern Mennonite Seminary, reflecting his deeply held faith and his commitment as an active lay leader at his church, Ridgeway Mennonite.

His daughter Diane notes, "Many local pastors have enjoyed conversations with this theologically trained piano tuner!" Mike Grundmann, one of the producers of the documentary, states, "He still has all ten fingers, a lively wit and theologically trained mind that makes for profound reflection."

Dan and Ferne Bowman have three grown daughters and six grandchildren, and Ferne has recently published a memoir of her life titled Song of the Redwing Blackbird--An Amish Mennonite Girl Grows Up, which can be ordered at fernelappbow@verizon.net.

Here's a link to the 26-minute documentary.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T8_UnWTq0I

Governor McAuliffe: Please Expedite The Promised Review of This Inmate’s Case

Coffeewood Correctional Center

Mr. Ronald Miles #1067348, a 61-year-old inmate at the Coffeewood Correctional Center, has been incarcerated for over twenty years for a robbery in Arlington he insists he did not commit. He has had a petition for clemency before the Governor for over 30 months, since he was unable to get justice from the courts, despite credible evidence and other documents he believes fully support his innocence and make a case for his deserving a retrial. While he was told his case would be reviewed in a timely manner, he has yet to hear from anyone in the over two and a half years that have passed since this promise was made.

Mr. Miles reports having once been arrested as a youngster for robbery, which prompted two Arlington detectives to question him about other crimes after he was arrested in March 1996 for removing an inspection decal which someone had told him he could have. Mr. Miles was then released. However, when he appeared in court on June 27, 1996, for his minor offense of three months earlier, he was arrested by an investigator who allegedly has a long history of wrongfully arresting suspects and falsifying evidence. Mr. Miles was accused of a robbery that occurred on January 22, 1996, at an Arlington hotel, though no witness had identified him as the suspect. The investigator attempted to get a confession, but did not succeed. 

At this time the investigator escorted Mr. Miles to the Arlington Jail to be booked by a sheriff deputy whom Mr. Miles discovered was not a certified booking deputy. The detective gave the deputy an evidence card and the deputy placed Mr. Miles' whole left thumbprint on the card. They alleged later that the thumbprint was found on a hotel room door, and that it took 4 1/2 months to match. 

At the preliminary hearing on July 22, 1996, the victim of the crime falsely identified Mr. Miles at the direction of the prosecutor and the the investigator. Mr. Miles did not have n attorney, and had not waived his right to counsel. The court and prosecutor later falsified the record to have it appear that Mr. Miles had waived his right to counsel, although he has evidence to the contrary.

Further, the original description by the primary witness in court does not match him in size, complexion, and balding, and no mention was made of a speech impediment he has which would have been obvious in the alleged verbal and physical altercation Miles was accused of having participated in at the hotel. So serious questions remain as to the nature of the evidence.  

Mr. Miles has also obtained letters from the state lab,which indicates no record of his thumbprint having been matched. In addition, Mr. Miles demonstrated in court that it is impossible to leave a whole thumbprint on a flat vertical door as the prosecutor falsely alleged. The thumb automatically turns sideways.

But despite many red flags in the prosecution's case he was still found guilty by an all-white jury. There was only one African American to draw from in the entire jury pool, who happened to be Mr. Miles' own sister, a fact the prosecutor falsely alleged she was unaware of.

I have been in ongoing communication with Mr. Miles and his now 86-year-old mother, and truly believe his case has merit. While I am not in a position to prove or disprove his innocence, I would encourage you to urge the Governor and the Parole Board to expedite a thorough review of his case. 

In a Commonwealth that places high values on both justice and liberty, we must make every effort to ensure that those serving time are doing so justly and those who are innocent are granted liberty.

Here's a link to express concerns to the Governor's Office and to the Department of Public Safety.
https://governor.virginia.gov/constituent-services/communicating-with-the-governors-office/

"Six Great Guns For Moms And Grandmas"

Six Best-Selling Semiautomatic Handguns Share Two Qualities

I post the following with sadness and without comment, other than to say that two other qualities these six killers share is that they are each 1) extremely deadly and 2) highly dangerous to carry. Here's a link to some of my own thoughts about owning guns for self-defense. 

The six best-selling semiautomatic handguns in the U.S. all have two things in common: They're easily concealable and fill the need for a personal defense weapon.

Motley Fool's Rich Duprey looked at monthly reports of best-selling new handguns identified by online auction house GunBroker.com to compile the list. Here's how the six best-selling handguns stack up in Duprey's analysis:

1. Ruger LCP — This gun "more than lives up to the task" of concealed carry suggested by its name, which stands for "lightweight compact pistol," said Duprey. Its price tag, which is about $260, is an attractive feature of this .380 ACP pistol.

The LCP II addresses many of the shortcomings of the original Ruger LCP introduced in 2008, improving the gun's sights and trigger, according to The Daily Caller.

This gun also made Breitbart's list of pocket guns that are "great guns for mothers and grandmothers who realize they are the first line of defense for their children or grandchildren should trouble strike."

2. Glock G19 and Smith & Wesson M&P Shield (tie) — The Glock 19, a single stack handgun with a 15-round capacity, retails for about $600. This gun will be carried by the Marine Corps Special Operations Command's elite Raiders, Military.com noted, calling the gun a "reliable, easy-to-maintain 9mm pistol."

The Smith & Wesson M&P Shield was introduced in 2012 and includes 9mm and .40, and .45 models with prices starting at about $450.

"In addition to the impressive reliability, I found the light, slim pistol shockingly accurate," Joseph von Benedikt wrote for Handguns magazine.

3. Sig Sauer P938 — Duprey described this 9mm hammer-fired, single-action pistol as a lightweight and ideal for concealed carry while handling like a much larger pistol. Its asking price is $819.

In a review for Ammoland.com, Brian Anse Patrick called the Sig Sauer P938 a "truly compact quality pistol worthy of choosing."

4. Glock G43 and Springfield XD-S (tie) — The G43 and Springfield XD-S are easily concealable, single stack pistols that go for $500 or more, Duprey noted.

In a review for Lucky Gunner, Chris Baker placed the G43 among the best in its category, saying "for those times when a double stack is just too big to carry, the Glock 43 should definitely be on the short list of guns to consider."

The Springfield XD-S, which is often chosen by law enforcement officers as an off-duty/backup weapon, "features unique grip texturing, interchangeable backstraps and a perfectly proportioned frame," American Rifleman noted.