At 75, Entering My Fourth Quarter

Today on my 75th birthday I reflect on the four 25-year seasons of my life:

Spring Planting--years 0-24

child number eight

conceived in Amish love

nourished by family and faith

deeply rooted in Oklahoma soil

transplanted at three to eastern Kansas

emigrating by cross-country train at six

to the garden that is the Shenandoah Valley

and then at 21 off to Eastern Mennonite College

1950's photo from Harry A. Brunk collection, Mennonite Archives of Virginia

Summer Growth--years 25-49

from deepening roots come shoots

of new life and new love

a growing love of learning at EMU, JMU, AMBS
a love of camping as director at Highland Retreat

a love of teaching at EMHS and Western Mennonite

along with the love of loving the love of my life

my Alma Jean having been wedded to me at 25 and

our bearing family fruit in sons Brad and Brent and

daughter Joanna while also serving

at Zion Mennonite for two soul-stretching decades

Fall Harvest--years 50-74

counseling at Family Life Resource Center

blessed to be an nonsalaried but well rewarded

house church pastor while trying to slow life down
enough to gather ripening insights to put in small baskets

of radio spots and blog posts and other publishings

in hopes they might nourish others as they have nurtured me

meanwhile seeing our offspring launch and grow families of their own

passing on their own lives in life enhancing ways

and oh grandchildren

Christmas 2012

Winter Reflection--years 75-??

can an old man continue to see visions and dream dreams

will his God-blessed health allow him to pursue

everything that still waits in bucket

wish lists of all he would love to see

happen in his community and family

and in beloved church families

and finally

will he be able to lay himself down to sleep

well content when his time comes

feeling finished and fulfilled

at winter's end and eager to

welcome eternal spring
shalom

The War That Spawned Ever Worse Wars

French 87th regiment near Verdun, 1916

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the beginning of World War I, once referred to as "the war to end all wars".

Sadly, the effect of this senseless conflict proved to be the opposite.

According to the backers of the Great War Project, it "devastated much of Europe, killed some 10 million people, ended empires, gave birth to new nations, sparked conflicts from France to Persia and from Russia to the Pacific islands, created the conditions leading to World War II a generation later, and helped make the United States the preeminent global power. Yet it settled nothing, and many of the conflicts from Europe to the Middle East and beyond still simmer to this day."

What I find even more tragic is that supposedly Christian leaders on both sides urged their congregants to offer their lives in this crusade to preserve civilization and to avoid being subjugated by a vicious and evil enemy.

An extreme example was that of Arthur Winnington-Ingram, the bishop of London, who preached, "Everyone that loves freedom and honour … are banded in a great crusade – we cannot deny it – to kill Germans; to kill them, not for the sake of killing, but to save the world; to kill the good as well as the bad, to kill the young as well as the old, to kill those who have shown kindness to our wounded as well as those fiends who... superintended the Armenian massacres, who sank the Lusitania, and who turned the machine-guns on the civilians of Aerschott and Louvain – and to kill them lest the civilisation of the world itself be killed... I look upon it as a war for purity, and everyone who dies in it as a martyr."

One horrific result of this kind of call to human slaughter was the infamous Battle of the Somme. Five months of fighting there left 622,221 British and French troops killed, wounded, missing, or taken prisoner — all for the sake of a gain of six miles of territory. An estimated 465,000 German troops died, making a total of over a million casualties in that battle alone.

Are we humans capable of learning that wars, rather than settling conflicts, most often contain the seeds of future ones, each potentially becoming ever more brutal and inhumane?

The Racial Divide--Have We Come A Long Way Or Not?

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This week marks the 50th anniversary of James E. Cheney's murder (an African American married to a white woman) along with two other white civil rights workers. I ran across the following letters to the editor of Eternity magazine on interracial marriage that I had filed a long time ago. There's no date on the page I saved, but it would have been sometime around 40 years ago. I'm using only the initials of the writers, but I have not otherwise edited any of the content:


Dear editor:

I did not like the article "What's Behind Our Interracial Marriage Taboos?". I do not and never will believe in mixed marriages. If this trend continues, there will eventually be no white or black people. I don't see why the black people can't be treated equally as to job opportunities, etc., but why endorse interracial marriage?
Articles like these and your magazine are just trying to "brainwash" our people into thinking it is the right thing to do. Discontinue my subscription.
H. P.
Lexington, Ky.


Lowell Noble's interpretation of the Bible and sociological studies are not true, judging by the nations that have fallen because of interracial marriage. Therefore please cancel my subscription.
Mrs. J. L.
Albany, Ga.


I am a Christian and love every child of God regardless of race or color. I have a niece and nephew who are in Africa who are missionaries.
But when it comes to interracial marriage I am very much against it. We should notice it is seldom that a white man marries a black woman. Usually a black man marries a white woman; it's nothing but lust and sensual desires.
Of course your modern churches, liberals, communists and civil rights forces are in favor of it. Take my name off your mailing list.
W. D.
Grand Rapids, Mich.


Lowell Nobel's article is a brilliant and perceptive one. It's way past time for such an article to be published.
A. J. B
State Line, Pa.


Now that you have so readily removed all barriers to the marriage of blacks and whites, perhaps you can give us another article in the near future proving to us that the cohabitation of humans and beasts is also permissible. Or what about one endorsing homosexuality and lesbians? Surely there are just as many good arguments for these things as for interracial marriages.
B. T. R.
Pasadena, Tex.

Jesus: "I Was Hungry, And You Did WHAT?"

I know I can't actually speak for Jesus, but here's some of what I imagine he might say to his U.S. followers today:

- I was hungry and you spent $61 billion on the feeding and care of your pets last year. God loves all creatures, but to pamper your animals while turning a blind eye to the world's poor is just plain wrong.

- I was thirsty and you spent $11.8 billion on bottled water in 2013, which costs you 2000 times more that tap water. Can't you be satisfied with the luxury of having good, safe water piped right into your homes that is of far better quality than most of the world's people enjoy?
And don't even get me started on all of the billions you're pouring into soft drinks and alcoholic beverages each year.

- I was an immigrant stranger and you keep investing ever more billions erecting fences and maintaining border patrol agents to keep me out instead of helping alleviate the desperate poverty that motivates people to take such great risks to find U.S. jobs in the first place. And too many of you have responded with more hatefulness than hospitality even to the children I'm sending your way to keep them from being killed or coerced into working for drug cartels in places like Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador.

- I was in need of clothes and you just keep buying more and more outfits to stash away in your already bloated walk-in closets. For some inexplicable reason you've chosen to celebrate my resurrection by buying even more new clothes. What's with that? And for St. Valentine's Day you spend over $13 billion annually on Valentine cards, jewelry and flowers.

- I was sick and in prison and you keep turning a blind eye to people who lack health care, while at the same time supporting building ever more prison cages to warehouse offenders. Meanwhile the luxury  homes you build for yourselves, often after your children are grown and gone, are ever more spacious and more elaborate.                                                  - Jesus

" I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do it for me.

- from Matthew 25

Church Unity--All About A Common Table, Not A Common Label

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Someone asked me recently, "Why are you so worried about churches maintaining organizational unity?"

True, I strongly favor good, faith-based organizations staying together, but I'm far more concerned about how our church splits are affecting our being able to share in the Lord's Supper together.

When I ask members of groups who are leaving MCUSA or Virginia Mennonite Conference whether I and other former fellow-members can still join them for their communion services, most quite willingly say, "Of course". After all, we are still fellow believers and in many cases long time friends.

But as a practical matter, we hardly ever get together for  communion after a church division. We are far more likely to remain "excommunicated" indefinitely.

If by chance we did show up at a departing church's worship service when the bread and cup of the Eucharist were being served, wouldn't it be more consistent for them to actually turn us away?

After all, if we can't be seen as worthy enough to do church business together, to engage in mission together, or to meet for regular sessions at a common table of discernment (such as at Conference Assemblies) how could we be considered worthy to partake at the Lord's holy table?

Or are our dissident friends saying that while they believe Jesus accepts us all in the most sacred act of partaking of his broken body and life blood, that they still can't unite with us for other far less important aspects of church life? How does that make sense?

So here are my basic questions:

Whose church is it, anyway? 

Who would Jesus welcome to intimate communion fellowship? 

Who will Jesus invite home to his forever banquet table?

I know Jesus says that the road to life is narrow, and only a relative few will find it. But the Bible also promises that in the end there will be "a great multitude that no one can count, from every tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb... wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands."

Maybe the Lord's table is ultimately much larger and more welcoming than we have imagined.

"Bella Bimba"--In Memory Of Valerie Brunk Hertzler 1969-2014

As a family friend and as one of her former teachers at Eastern Mennonite High School, I attended Valerie Brunk Hertzler's memorial service at the Lindale Mennonite Church this past Thursday. We were all moved by the service and by the tributes given by her older brother Douglas Brunk and by her lifelong friend, Wanda Bowman Harder, which I post here with their kind permission. Valerie's mother Erma Hess Brunk, had died of cancer exactly 12 years prior to Valerie's premature and tragic death. Needless to say, this has been traumatic for all of her many, many friends and loved ones.

The following is now posted on Douglas Brunk's blog:

From the day my dear sister was born in Palermo, Sicily, I have loved her and felt very protective, perhaps on occasion overly so. I would get VERY upset if anyone other than my parents would even touch her or for that matter even look at her. My parents tell stories of my incessant questioning (I know that is hard for many of you to believe) which eventually included, “Can I marry Valerie when we grow up?“

I assume it was early on my Dad coined her family nickname that would stick to this day — Bella Bimba (Beautiful Girl). It comes from an Italian song that I won’t even try to sing for you. Dad with his fatherly eyes captured her essence. Didn’t he? If you see early pictures of her absolute cuteness you can’t help but call her Bella Bimba.

We Mennonites can be a bit suspicious of this word ‘beautiful.’ We are concerned about putting on airs and ostentatious displays. But beautiful is what she was – to her core.

I have looked over the pictures over the last couple of days I have been struck dumb by her physical beauty. She was so cute in childhood. She developed into a beauty as a girl. As a woman, she bore herself with her own unique Valerie-version of our mother’s poise and stature. She had a timeless quality and carried it easily. I can only imagine how much she would detest my talking about her in front of a room full of people — much less discussing her beauty.

We all know that physical beauty, however, has its limits. Our Bella Bimba radiated beauty as a devoted wife and mother. She loved her family with a deep and abiding love and in simple and creative ways helped build a beautiful life for her family. This love reached to her extended family and encompassed MANY unexpected changes in our family life and structure. Some of those changes were not easy but she did not run, even though they could be very scary.

Our Bella Bimba radiated beauty through her passionate desire to be of service to others and her devotion to God. Through the work she chose to devote herself to on a daily basis through social work, through her work with this congregation, and through the work in Haiti that Andre and Val chose to devote their precious time.

Our Bella Bimba radiated beauty through silence. Valerie was a quiet and reserved person. She left the public limelight to those of us who craved it more. She worked and participated from the background. She made things happen. When she choose to speak she would communicate through few and carefully chosen words.

Lest you create an image in your mind of a quiet, unassuming, angelic, push over — I feel like I should correct that right now. Under that exterior, lay a woman of strong conviction with some, but not unlimited, patience with less than wise decisions or behavior in others. I say this as her older brother who, of course, would only occasionally be on the receiving end of that “correction.” On occasion I would hear stories or witness her corrective action towards others. I could not help but wonder, “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”

Our Bella Bimba radiated beauty … but as my partner, Lloyd, put it recently, that radiance was sometimes dimmed. It was not always easy for my dear sister because she suffered from anxiety, sometimes mild, sometime overwhelming. It frustrated her ability to be everything she wanted to be for her family and friends.

At the end, dear sister, we have been left with a mystery. There are some things we will never know and questions for which there will be no answers in this life. There are times we will be angry. There are times we will be frustrated. There are times we will feel overwhelmed by sadness. In all these times, hopefully, we can turn to Our Source and one another to be loved and reminded of how much you loved us.

So now dear Dolce Bella Bimba we must take the mystery you left us with and enter into an even larger Mystery. We must place you (though so unwillingly) with gentleness, oh so much gentleness, into the loving, strong arms of the Creator. In my mind, I can see standing there at the Eternal Right Hand, regal, loving, and comforting as ever, our dear mother waiting to enfold you in her arms.
Peace be with you Valerie and God’s peace be with us all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

To my precious Valerie, by Wanda Harder

We’ve been friends ever since you moved in across the road in 1975, and I’ve always called you my sister.  It’s so hard to put into words who you were to me and how much I will miss you.  I’ve spent the past few days going through old photos and replaying thousands of memories.  Memories of:

​- picnics
​- climbing trees on the hill
​- endless craft projects
​- wandering all over Park View
​- crazy costumes
​- baking experiments
​- setting up hilarious obstacle courses with Doug in your basement, like putting on your dad’s waders and timing each other as ​we ran around completing a series of tasks
​- hiking with my family
​- just talking
​- listening to my Larry Norman albums
​- letters across the miles when we weren’t in the same country
​- laughing—a LOT
​- being in each other’s weddings
​- being pregnant at the same time
​- playdates when Casey & Joseph were little
​- walking with each other through the loss of a parent
​- lunches at Dave’s Taverna and Blue Nile
​- shopping – You helped me pick out this dress last winter fora wedding.  It certainly was NOT intended for this ​occasion.

For all the time we spent together, I can’t believe that there are so few photos of the two of us.  (Don’t worry—that photo of us in our Wonder Woman costumes will never become public.)  We just weren’t into photos.  We were into being friends and spending time together. 

You were always content to stay in the background, but you possessed such grace and wisdom.  You cared deeply about people, and you were such a wonderful listener.  As we’ve shared the ups and downs of life and wrestled with issues of faith and parenting together, I’ve so appreciated your thoughtful insights, your integrity, and your prayers.  You forgave me for the many times I was a too-bossy big sister. You always laughed at my jokes. Thank you for blessing my life with your sweetness.  I will miss you.  You will always be my sister.

When To Bury, When To Carry--The 7 x 70 Question

Turn the book over; its second title is "Caring Enough NOT to Forgive"

When do you completely stop talking about, or dealing with, something that has been troubling you for a long time?

Some are inclined to say we should never bury things, period. Stuffing things down, they say, can only make your problems worse, and they're sure to come back to trouble you later.

Others are prone to say, Let go of your past hurts and grievances in your life and in your relationships quickly, along with any angers or resentments eating at you. You can't afford to keep obsessing about things that will only make your life miserable.

When this question came up in a recent counseling session I had one of those light bulb moments that occasionally come to me when I am seeking insight and help with my clients. That maybe the answer is very simple: Bury whatever is truly dead, but keep working at whatever is still alive and needing to be healed or resolved.

In relationships, this means that whenever we ask for, and grant, real forgiveness, that both parties must agree to never bring that matter up again. In other words, bury it deeply, just as God does when we are granted amazing grace and true pardon. If the same offense reoccurs, of course, that may need to be dealt with that in a decisive way, but we don't connect it to what has already been buried.

When it comes to our negative emotion, we need to address those with the kind of truths that set us free. If we can, by faith, affirm our own worth in God's sight, we declare negative feelings of self-deprecation to be over. They are now dead. Or if we choose to let go of negative feelings of hurt and/or resentments over other people or situations over which we have no control--and do so from a position of strength--we can declare that by faith those hurtful emotions and impulses are behind us. We're done with them.  They too are dead.

So we continue to deal with our internal distresses as long as they are still alive, transforming them, with God's help and the help of others, into something alive and positive, or choosing to let them go, no longer allowing them the opportunity to make us miserable. In other words, we let them die.

Simple rule: Never bury anything alive, but never fail to bury things that are dead and gone.