Is Accountability Based On Age Or Agency?

We have been divided on just when children and teens need
to make their personal lifetime decisions to enlist in the
worldwide movement of Jesus followers.

When are children personally responsible for pledging their lives and allegiance to God rather than their parents being primarily accountable for their faith and faith practices?

Anabaptists have always taught that children are a part of God's beloved and "saved" family from birth. Jesus's words "of such is the kingdom of heaven," are frequently cited, understood as children not only experiencing special favor with God but as deserving special care and protection. In fact adults are to become spiritually reborn, become like children, in order to be a part of God's family.  

Thus children are seen as innocent and blessed by Anabaptist groups, not in need of baptism or any other rite to make them acceptable to God. 

But just when do they arrive at an "age of accountability" and embrace a faith that is truly their own? Is it at around 12, a traditional Jewish marker for becoming a part of the adult faith community? Or as in American society, is it at around 18, when they gain full legal status as adults?

A Mennonite publication of some years ago, "Upon These Doorposts," described three stages of faith development I have found helpful. The first of these is "heart faith," based on children unquestioningly embracing the faith of their parents and other mentors in their lives. A second stage, "head faith," is one in which children begin to face difficult issues and entertain some honest doubts as they seek answers to hard questions about God, the Bible, the church, and about standards of right and wrong. A third stage is the development of "whole faith," an experience of combining head faith and heart faith in a lifelong commitment to God and to God's people. 

This three-stage model recognizes that it is normal for children, teens and young adults (along with their elders!) to make not just one "decision for Christ," or have just one kind of  repentance and transformation. Rather that they will experience a lifetime of repeatedly saying "Yes" as they gain new and deeper understandings of their faith. 

But just when should the celebration and sign of baptism and a personally chosen membership in a community of faith take place?

I find it significant that in each of the first three gospels, the story of Jesus blessing children is immediately followed by his calling a wealthy young ruler to accountability for the management of the assets for which he is responsible. 

In the case of children brought to him for a rabbinic blessing, Jesus warmly welcomes, embraces and blesses them each, then simply returns them to the parents who are responsible for their care, including their spiritual care. But he then directly confronts the wealthy young adult who seeks a similar blessing, asking him to give up ownership of his possessions and to use his wealth for the benefit of the poor, as Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount and elsewhere. 

He makes no such demands of children, doesn't urge them to "make a decision for Christ," or to "give their hearts and lives to Jesus." They have no significant property or other personal possessions over which they have direct control. Their major life decisions, as in what education they receive, what time they spend in what company of friends, what work or extracurriculars they take part in, what major purchases they make, etc., are still ones in which their parents have the final say and over which their young do not yet have the primary responsibility. This is as it should be, a gradual shift of responsibility which culminates in children fully "coming of age." 

So yes, at some point a child either demands the right to make all of these major choices on their own, as one of their developmental tasks, or is freely granted that right by their parents and/or their society. At this point a child clearly does need to answer directly to God for their choices. But until young people have or claim that right to say "No," one could question whether they can fully say "Yes" in a way that is truly their own.

So what if we were to see accountability as not about some arbitrary age or stage in children's social or psychological development, but about when their family and/or community no longer exert primary control over their life choices? 

To Anabaptist and other groups in the free church tradition this is an important question. Otherwise we may have far too many young adults who come to reject their baptism as more like an expected rite of passage rather than a personally chosen  enlistment in the worldwide, heaven-governed God movement.