The Most Outrageous Story Jesus Ever Told

The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Pompeo Batoni
1773

Most of us read Jesus's parable of the Prodigal Son as a feel-good "happily-ever-after" tale. But to his first century hearers it would have been considered shocking and outrageous. 

Here are the main parts of the Luke 15 story (in italics) and some likely incredulous reactions:

“There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them."

What? While the father was still living, and with no questions asked? Any son  with the gall to demand  such a thing should be stoned for being defiant and disrespectful, as commanded in the law of Moses,* and certainly not be granted his totally inappropriate request.

“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything."

The father should have known that would happen. What did he expect? What was he thinking? His son deserves to starve after having wasted his whole inheritance on infidels and foreigners.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father."

Yeah, right. He's going to act all repentant, as though he was completely changed, just to get his father to take him back. But he shouldn't fall for it. It's just an act, and someone like that can never be trusted again. Let him grovel. Let him find another disgusting job with a pig farmer. 

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."

No self-respecting patriarch would run for anything, for any reason, much less warmly embrace and kiss someone who had treated him this way. Has he no dignity, no self-respect?

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’"

What an understatement. Of course he's not worthy to be called the man's son. And he doesn't deserve to be accepted as one his servants either. He's made his bed, now let him lie in it. He had every chance and blew it. So let him pay the price. 

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate."

What? This is unthinkable! What will the older son think, the one who has worked hard all his life and never gave his father any trouble? And what would the neighbors say? Throwing this kind of party sends entirely the wrong message--that crime pays. Where's the justice? No father on earth would ever do that.

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* From the Bible:

"...  (H)he shall acknowledge the firstborn... by giving him a double portion of all that he has... The right of the firstborn is his. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

- Deuteronomy 21:17-21 (ESV)

"More and more notorious sinners, despised tax collectors and other folks with really bad reputations were hanging around Jesus, listening to his every word. Good people like the self-righteous members of the religious establishment were indignant and outraged, “He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like best friends.'” 

Luke 15:1-3 (paraphrase)