Wanted: A Lot More Good Men

Fortunately, not all men fit the negative images many may have
of them. 

Macho. Insensitive. Crude. Controlling. Obsessed with sex. 

These are some of the male stereotypes cited by men in a seminar I led some time ago.

These labels certainly don't fit all males, but unfortunately there are far too many who do leer at women, demean them by focusing on their body parts, and at times use, abuse, and abandon them.

Sometimes we men are anything but good people. 

I’ll never forget the advice I once heard from an older high school teacher: “If you want a good woman, you have to be a good man. It’s as simple as that.” 

That’s pretty basic. Just be a good man. You deserve only the kind of person you are. But what is that person like? Here are some ideas for starters:

• A good man shows a high level of respect for everyone. He treats women the way he would have other men treat his own daughter, mother, or sister. 

• A good man strives to be a good lover, but realizes love has more to do with being patient than with being passionate, with being kind and dependable than with being amorous in bed. 

• A good man is honest. An “I love you” is never used just to get someone to give him what he wants, but is matched by kind, caring behavior in every part of his life.

• A good man doesn’t indulge in pornographic fantasies of artificially endowed models dying to have sex with him. He recognizes pornography as not only infantile but also dangerously addictive and downright harmful to relationships.

• A good man honors his commitments. When he says “for better or for worse,” he means it. When he promises “until death do us part,” he honors that promise.

• A good man knows how to be a decent dad. He takes a strong interest in his children and provides for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. They are always a major priority in his life.

Is being this kind of good man really possible? Not perfectly, of course, but it’s what God created each of us to be and what God can enable each of us to become. 

The Bible tells the story of David, who when he had committed adultery and then realized the awfulness of what he had done, cried out to God in one of the greatest prayers of repentance in the Bible—Psalm 51. God honored him by calling him a man after God’s own heart.Likewise, God will love and bless all those who pursue becoming good men, regardless of their past.