Forgiveness As Remembering And Letting Go

Rembrandt van Rijn's The Return of the Prodigal Son

I'll always remember an incident a pastor friend once shared in which a widow in his congregation had become intimately involved with a married man in their community. Recognizing that the choices she made in her loneliness had caused much pain and hurt for herself and others, she sought forgiveness and the assurance of restoration from her family of faith.

It was hard to openly acknowledge the shame she felt she had brought on herself and members of her church family, but believed that would be preferable to having people talk about her behind her back,

On the day she made her heartfelt confession to members of her congregation, the pastor invited everyone to gather around her in a sign of their complete forgiveness and total acceptance.

"But I want you to do this only on one condition," he insisted. "That in offering unconditional forgiveness you pledge to never talk about this again. Never."

I’ve always believed true forgiveness should be considered costly, and not primarily about simply forgetting, or just pretending something bad had never happened, but this story elevates forgiveness to a new level.

If you think about it, shouldn't true forgiveness actually remove a transgression “as far as the east is from the west,” and to such an extent that the offense can't be brought up again? If not, is it really of much value?

So maybe we shouldn’t rush into forgiveness until, in responding with grace to another’s true change of heart and behavior, we are willing to “never bring it up again.”

Here's a link to another post about forgiveness: https://harvyoder.blogspot.com/2011/01/should-we-ever-not-forgive.html