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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Head Bone Connected to the... Cell Phone

    all around the world, anywhere you go, everybody’s on the phone,
    driving down the road, something you should know is that
        everybody’s on the phone,
          they’re all talkin’ to someone talkin’, is everybody talking 

                but me?
          would somebody do one thing at a time, please?..

    walking down the street, strangers that you meet,
        they’re talkin’, but they’re all alone,
    it’s really hard to tell the crazy from the well
        now that everybody’s on the phone,

            all over the supermarket, chattin’ in the checkout line,
            I’m so happy to hear her tumor’s benign..
            that was more than I wanted to know,
            why your former boyfriend had to go,
            I have conversation overload, now that everybody’s on the phone..

    standing face to face in a public place,
        there are certain things you would not say,
    but since you’re on the phone, although you’re not alone,
        now you say them anyway,

            so swear like a sailor loud enough to make a grandma frown,
            at least she has a hearing aid to turn down..
            that was more than I wanted to know,
            why your former girlfriend is a ho,
            I have conversation overload, now that everybody’s on the phone..

        your family history, plumbing emergency,
        impending bankruptcy, why you put your dog to sleep,
        your infidelity, recent vasectomy,
        if you’re not telling me, then say it quietly, please!..

    all around the world, everywhere you go,
    everybody’s on the phone,
    driving down the road, better take it slow, now that
    everybody’s on the phone, everybody’s on the phone…


                                                                       Copyright 2008 © Brad Yoder

As someone who uses a cell phone mostly while out of town (and seldom gives out the number) I like the above piece written by our son, a Pittsburgh-based singer-songwriter, and am especially fond of the line "it’s really hard to tell the crazy from the well now that everybody’s on the phone."

Reminds me of a little encounter I had one day as I was walking from our local library to my office. A middle-age man was sitting on a bench outside having an animated cell conversation using his latest blue tooth phone, the kind that makes it appear that one is either just talking to oneself or to some imaginary friend.

Apparently feeling a little self conscious about this as he saw me coming, he interrupted his phone conversation to say, "I'm really not crazy, I'm just talking with someone on my new phone."

"Well, I happen to be a psychotherapist,” I said, “so in case you need any of my help, my office is just up the street."

We both laughed, after which he continued his conversation with, "You won't believe this, but a psychiatrist just came by and kidded me about being crazy!"

Of course he hadn't heard the “psychotherapist” part right (a fancy name for a licensed counselor), but I do wonder sometimes, wouldn’t we all be saner (to say nothing of safer) if we did a lot more reflecting and a lot less round-the-clock texting and talking?

And as a result, in the spirit of the Ezekial-based spiritual, “Dry Bones,” we might even “hear the word of the Lord” sometimes as we walk or drive somewhere.
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