Roses And Ashes: Local Marriage And Divorce Numbers For 2023

Flowers can be expensive, but a good
marriage is priceless.

Today, February 14, is both Ash Wednesday, the first Day of Lent, and Valentines Day, a day for celebrating love, roses and romance.

As a pastor and marriage and family counselor I’ve been keeping record of the number of local marriages and divorces each year since 1996. While our Rockingham/Harrisonburg population has grown significantly since then, the number of divorces granted in 2023, 366, remained relatively low, and the number of marriage licenses issued, 961, remained at near the average number of marriages each year since 1996.

While 366 marital breakups is a lower number than most years, it nevertheless means the painful disruption of the lives of 732 partners, along with whatever distress it creates for their children and countless numbers of friends, parents, grandparents and other loved ones. 

Meanwhile, while we have good records of documented marriages in our community, we lack any statistics on the increased number of partners who are living together without registering their de facto marriages. This means we have no record of how many of these undocumented couples also experience undocumented divorces, with equally distressing effects on children and/or other close family members and friends.

Here are the official numbers as provided by the local Circuit Court:

Year       Marriages     Divorces

1996           873                 387

1997           950                 405

1998           964                 396

1999           932                 405

2000           947                 365

2001          1003                438     (most annual marriages)

2002           976                 421

2003           961                 399

2004           959                 437

2005           889                 381

2006           929                 389

2007           925                 434

2008           950                 405

2009           903                 347 

2010           879                 358     (fewest annual marriages)

2011           933                 433

2012           995                 445

2013           924                 484    

2014           972                 427

2015           955                 474

2016           985                 612     (most annual divorces)

2017           983                 426

2018           935                 476

2019           947                 487

2020           882                 445

2021           994                 466

2022           954                 332     (fewest annual divorces)

2023           961                 366

We should note that the marriage numbers above are based solely on the number of marriage licenses issued, and include those who come here from other localities to get married, whereas divorce numbers include only the official breakups of people who live in the City or County. However, it is reasonable to assume that a roughly equal number of residents from here marry in other jurisdictions as marry here from other communities, so the numbers given should be reasonably valid for comparison purposes.

It should also be noted that we cannot assume a rate of divorce based on any one year's numbers, as in "35% of the first time marriages in our community will end in divorce,” since many of the above couples are marrying or divorcing for a second, third or fourth time. But with numbers like these over a period of years, we can safely conclude that the odds of a given first marriage surviving are well over 50%.

Separations and divorces may certainly be justified in cases of ongoing patterns of abuse, addictions or adultery. But in every way possible, our community is better off supporting ever more marital roses and ever fewer ashes of failed marriages and severed relationships.