Pages

▼

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Forgiveness As Remembering And Letting Go

Rembrandt van Rijn's The Return of the Prodigal Son
I'll always remember an incident a pastor friend once shared in which a widow in his congregation had become intimately involved with a married man in their community. Recognizing that the choices she made in her loneliness had caused much pain and hurt for herself and others, she sought forgiveness and the assurance of restoration from her family of faith.

It was hard to openly acknowledge the shame she felt she had brought on herself and members of her church family, but believed that would be preferable to having people talk about her behind her back,

On the day she made her heartfelt confession to members of her congregation, the pastor invited everyone to gather around her in a sign of their complete forgiveness and total acceptance.

"But I want you to do this only on one condition," he insisted. "That in offering unconditional forgiveness you pledge to never talk about this again. Never."

I’ve always believed true forgiveness should be considered costly, and not primarily about simply forgetting, or just pretending something bad had never happened, but this story elevates forgiveness to a new level.

If you think about it, shouldn't true forgiveness actually remove a transgression “as far as the east is from the west,” and to such an extent that the offense can't be brought up again? If not, is it really of much value?

So maybe we shouldn’t rush into forgiveness until, in responding with grace to another’s true change of heart and behavior, we are willing to “never bring it up again.”

Here's a link to another post about forgiveness: https://harvyoder.blogspot.com/2011/01/should-we-ever-not-forgive.html
at

1 comment:

  1. UnknownMay 6, 2020 at 7:59 PM

    I recall a somewhat similar instruction after a confession back in the 1950s. A pregnant unmarried young member (her partner was not from the congregation and unnamed) had her letter of confession read by the pastor, who followed it by a strong similar admonition for the congregation. Some years later, while writing the history of another congregation, I was struck by the fact that those caught pregnant before marriage before the mid 60s were still in the congregation, whereas those caught after that period were not. That was the period when such "discipline" was discontinued. Some of those post mid 60s couples told me that the reason for their departure from the church was "that people kept talking." I am not necessarily urging a return to that form of discipline, but direct address, "not talking" or holding it against the offender, would certainly be in order. Ken Bechtel

    ReplyDelete