- Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 (ERV)
This piece doesn’t address the divisive question of whether the church receives as members same-sex couples in committed relationships. That’s an important concern, to be sure, but this post is about the church being truly pastoral in the way it cares for its already committed members, that silent minority of gays and lesbians among them who wait to be welcomed as a vital part of the church’s conversation on this and all other issues.
On this ninth day of Christmas I am praying that our congregations become totally safe places for people to come out of any imposed isolation and fully walk in the light alongside the rest of us. It’s about our freely loving and fully embracing everyone, celebrating God’s image in each.
We all know cases of sons and daughters of our fellow members (including church leaders) who have either suffered in silence year after year under our "Don't-ask-Don't-tell-and-Don't-talk-about-it" policy or who have quietly left the church and in some cases entered into some kind of partnered relationships. By now most of us realize that differently oriented persons make up around 3-5% of our number, that they are not going away, and that they are who they are through no choice of their own. Yet they seldom feel free to tell us what it's like to be in their shoes.
The results have often been tragic, with good people struggling with feelings of intense isolation, self-doubt, spiritual turmoil, social estrangement and even suicide. Our heterosexually dominant church communities are often experienced by these members as unfriendly, inhospitable and rejecting. Thus we have become guilty of inflicting deep hurt to those who are born different from us. I know many of them, some who have poured out their hearts to me in the privacy of my office. They are our sisters and brothers.
So please join me in praying that as a church we will finally pledge, loudly and clearly, that nothing anyone tells us about their private life or their secret longings will make it worse for them for having done so. That our love and acceptance, our willingness to walk and talk with each other and to lovingly encourage each other toward faithfulness, will not be affected in any negative way.
We are, after all, all flawed and needy people, each of us in our own way. We need each other's help--and God's help--to work things out, no matter what it takes or how long it takes. We are dedicated to finding Jesus' way, and how we can together take on his well-fitting yoke.
Click here for something I posted on this subject over three years ago, and here for another more recent blog on how this issue is affecting the church
4 comments:
Praying for a gay Mennonite Church is about the same as praying for the demise of the Mennonite Church. Outside the rightness or wrongness of the issue, the fact remains that denominations that go gay lose many congregations and members.
I'm specifically praying for individuals in all of our churches who are different from us.
My denomination considers sex outside of wedlock to be a sin. Fornicators are welcome to attend our services and be “embraced” by our members. However, unrepentant fornicators are not permitted to become members of our congregation. There are denominations, such as the United Church of Christ and the Episcopals, that welcome fornicators and “truly embrace” them, so it is not like there is no place for them to go so as not to feel isolated and unloved.
I haven't been consistent with this, but I'd really like for you and others to use their names when they post. Meanwhile, if you read what I actually wrote, "This piece doesn’t address the divisive question of whether the church receives as members same-sex couples in committed relationships."
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