10 Things Jesus Never Told His Followers To Do

It's as important to note what Jesus didn't teach as to pay attention to what he did.

Here are some example of instructions Jesus never got around to giving:

1. Join and support the National Sword Association.

2. Make sure you stash plenty of cash for your retirement.

3. Design and build esthetically impressive temples and church buildings for your weekly worship (except when you're at your mountain cabin or ocean front home for frequent weekend breaks).

4. Enlist in an underground militia movement to take your country back.

5. Give a tithe (10%) of your income to charity and use the rest for whatever you wish.

6. Be careful about your reputation when it comes to who you hang out with.

7. Treat yourself to a luxury cruise every couple of years.

8. Build yourself a big dream home to enjoy during your retirement.

9. Regularly pledge allegiance to "the flag of the United Kingdoms of the Roman Empire and to the Republic for which it stands".

10. Avoid befriending a) Samaritans and others with heretical religious views, b) eunuchs and others with different gender identities, c) enemy-supporting tax collectors with differing national identities or allegiances, and d) all kinds of no-good, low-down sinners and criminals, all folks with whom you have nothing in common.