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Monday, January 1, 2018

On The Eighth Day Of Christmas: Teaching Responsibility

Children find it rewarding to do meaningful grownup work.
Some time ago I read an article that suggested that by the time children leave home they should have learned all the skills needed to manage and maintain a household of their own, that is, how to take care of finances, pay bills, prepare healthy meals, clean house, take care of clothes, and do minor repairs. Such instruction is a part of our job description as parents.

I know that sounds like a lot of work, and it may feel easier and more efficient just to do a lot of the household chores ourselves, but children really need (and won't necessarily resent) the challenges involved in upgrading their skills and their level of responsibility to more adult levels. They will resent our nagging, complaining and treating them disrespectfully in the process, of course. 

Until the widespread availability of many of today's screen-based games, much of children's play involved imitating adult work, playing the roles of admired grownups in their lives, which makes play a vital part of their education. Of course children will always dislike the same kind of tasks we all dislike, the boring and repetitious kind, the kind we all need to take turns doing simply because we are a responsible part of the household, like washing dishes, cleaning or making beds. 

All such work is an important part of being a responsible and functional adult. Meanwhile,  I've become less inclined to favor paying children for these kinds of normal and necessary shared chores, but to pay them only for special jobs we might normally hire some other outside person to do for us. In those cases, they can make a competitive bid for the job and be hired to do it, all as a part of learning how the real world works.

I do, however, believe in giving school age children a regular allowance as their "salary" (with annual increases) with their then becoming responsible for more and more of their own purchases. But more on that in my next post.

Much love, many blessings.

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