Why We May Love Collecting 'Brown Stamps'

Back in the '60's and 70's many merchants offered green stamps with every purchase, one for every dime on your receipt. Books of stamps could be redeemed for all kinds of cool products from the Sperry & Hutchinson gift catalogue.

I once heard Garrison Keillor describe some people as being afflicted with a unique kind of Alzheimers, one that causes them to "forget everything but their grievances."

Too many of us find ourselves failing to count our blessings and instead collecting what we might call "brown stamps," mental records all of the perceived wrongs we have suffered throughout our unfortunate lives. As convinced victims, we believe I a debt for which we deserve payments that are long overdue. That sense of being owed gives us a feeling of power we may otherwise feel we lack.

By contrast, if we register all of their many gratitudes in our mental bookkeeping we see ourselves as owing the world--and our Creator--a debt we can never fully repay. That represents a kind of power and a motivation of a positive kind.

So much depends not on our circumstances but on our bookkeeping.

I'm not an accountant, and sometimes even have trouble keeping track of my bank balance, but I at least know that the difference between having an overdrawn account and a viable one. It's all about whether I regularly make more deposits than I do withdrawals.

In a similar way, the difference between mental wellness and mental misery is whether our assets are seen as exceeding our liabilities, our credits exceeding our debits.

The good news is that our circumstances don't have to be perfect, nor do all the people in our lives need to behave has they should. Many won't, but we need to have enough positive experiences and life-giving connections with God and with others that more than make up for what is negative in our lives.

Again, a lot of that has to do with our record keeping, and whether we are mostly collecting green stamps or brown stamps.

Are there times when we need to lament, mourn, repent, and/or grieve? Absolutely. We need to set aside times to name and fully experience our pain and our losses in order to experience much needed catharsis and ongoing healing.

There is a time for everything, but the majority of our time needs to be focused on the good stuff. 

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"In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable."

Philippians 4:8 (Good News translation)

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