In Memory Of My Sister Mary Beth Shifflett, 1946-2015, And Husband Harven, 1937-2015

with son Harlen, around 1970

My younger adopted sister and her husband of 51 years perished in a tragic fire on the night of December 12. After extensive autopsies their deaths were deemed accidental and we were finally able to lay their bodies to rest at the Evergreen Church of the Brethren cemetery in Greene County this past Wednesday. 

What follows is the meditation I gave at their memorial service at 1 pm Sunday, January 4, at the Dyke Fire Hall south of Stanardsville, attended by some 150 people:

We’re here today to try to find some closure to what’s been a horrific nightmare of a holiday season. A month ago none of us could have dreamed that Harven and Mary Beth wouldn’t get to celebrate this Christmas here on this earth. Or that they wouldn’t be able to be together for Harven’s birthday, on the 18th, just a week before Christmas. I know how much Mary Beth loved special days like these, loved getting gifts for people, loved surprising and blessing others with just the right present. 

And I’m sure that when little Harven Isaac was born, just over 78 years ago now, he was welcomed as a special Christmas gift. And I remember well when Mary Beth came into our home as a foster child not long after Christmas at just four months of age, she was a gift we grew so attached to that my parents chose to adopt her and make her the youngest special member of our family, replacing me in that slot. 

I was just six when my new little sister came in all her cuteness, a Christmas present indeed. She was always the one, as an adult who was most interested in getting our family together for reunions and special occasions, but no one could have imagined we would ever have to get together for an occasion like this.

I remember one evening I was in the dairy barn at feeding time and I overheard my Dad talking to himself. He didn’t know I was observing and hearing him. And I remember him saying, with excitement in his voice, something about that day being the anniversary of little Mary Beth’s coming into our home. He loved her. And we all loved Harven as a special brother-in-law—friendly, hospitable, a hard-working breadwinner. We adopted them both.

Mary Beth as a teen

Whenever my sister had questions about her adoption, or when she told us about something her classmates at school said about it, she was always assured she was special. Unlike the rest of us, she was chosen. Then they in turn chose their one and only son Harlen, celebrating the fact that it is the chosen relationships with unrelated people, as in marriage, adoption, close friendships, or with our church families where the bonds are often even stronger than with our blood relationships.

In a kind of condensed Christmas story in Paul’s letter to the Galatians, there’s a text that says, “When the fullness of time was come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, to redeem us, so that we might receive full rights as God’s adopted children. And because we are children, God’s Spirit in us calls out, ‘Abba’ (‘Papa’), Father’,… and since we are children, we are also heirs, by adoption.” That’s the way God loves us, as beloved and chosen ones. Whoever believes, God receives, adopts, and welcomes into his family.

Our older brother Sanford, who with his wife Martha, lived many years around Shifflett’s Hollow near to Mary Beth and Harven, and now live in Costa Rica, wrote these words after hearing about their tragic deaths: 

"I have so many happy memories of sister Mary Beth. The day she arrived as a little baby we were all so excited. As she grew she became my little “favorite”, often sitting on my knees, singing with me... (We) mourn a great loss but are committing ourselves to the hands of a just and holy God ...who is perfect in love, perfect in mercy, and perfect in grace.” 

Those words were a comfort to me.

But we are still left with so many “Why’s?”, so many questions, but we are together today to share our memories and our faith in a God who walks with us through the darkest of valleys, knowing that no sparrow falls without his notice, or without his love and compassion.

This is our hope, even though we’ll grieve for a long, long time. And our hearts go out to friends and especially to family members, son Harlen, grandchildren Michael and Brittany. This has been an unbelievable beginning of a winter. But just as in the middle of our mourning the winter nights were at their longest, so we trust that with each new day of the new year, the nights of grief will become a little shorter, and the days of healing sunlight a little longer, so God will restore ever more of our light and life.

I close with some words of a hymn written by Colin Gibson after the death of an adult son of a friend of his:

Nothing is lost on the breath of God,

nothing is lost for ever;

God's breath is love, and that love will remain,

holding the world for ever.

No feather too light, no hair too fine,

no flower too brief in its glory;

no drop in the ocean, no dust in the air,

but is counted and told in God's story.

Nothing is lost to the eyes of God,

nothing is lost for ever;

God sees with love and that love will remain,

holding the world for ever.

No journey too far, no distance too great,

no valley of darkness too blinding;

no creature too humble, no child too small

for God to be seeking, and finding.

Nothing is lost to the heart of God,

nothing is lost for ever;

God's heart is love, and that love will remain,

holding the world for ever.

No impulse of love, no office of care,

no moment of life in its fulness;

no beginning too late, no ending too soon,

but is gathered and known in God's goodness.

A Call For Moderation, Mutual Understanding And Acceptance In Harrisonburg And Rockingham County

Islamic Center, 1330 Country Club Road

The following statement is being proposed for endorsement and acceptance by members of the local Interfaith Association at its monthly luncheon meeting this Thursday noon. It is being hosted by members of the local mosque, and all are welcome:

"The organizations and individuals endorsing this statement are deeply saddened by the recent hatred expressed towards immigrants by citizens emboldened by presidential candidates and amplified by media outlets. We are deeply saddened by the violence that is taking place at home and abroad. We desperately need a productive public struggle over our different ethical and social choices. 

"It is time to stop and recover our values. We are a nation of immigrants of different cultural, linguistic, and religious backgrounds, which makes our communities rich, diverse, and productive.

"Our community of Harrisonburg and Rockingham has a long lasting history of welcoming immigrants  and celebrating the role that everyone contributes to our society, and will not lose our souls to hate. Our call is not only to pray, but also to educate and engage in loving one another, as is the mandate of all of our faith communities.

"We would like to let our community know that we intend to work together to stop religious intolerance, bigotry, religious discrimination, fear, and xenophobia from taking over the hearts of our institutions and members of our community.

"We add our voice to the call of many others in the country who seek to promote common understanding, to love our enemies, to dialogue with those who are different than us, to recognize and celebrate our differences, and to demand that hate-speech in our political parties stop."

You can RSVP to sanderwm@jmu.edu

On This Twelfth Day Of Christmas--Pray That The Church Will Overcome Its 'Ediface Complex'

Richard Jacobson website
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands."

Paul, Acts 17:24 NIV

It's almost impossible to think of congregations these days without associating them with the buildings in which they meet. Architecturally these special structure are highly visible, easily recognizable, and say a lot about the faith and finances of the people who worship in them. And for the majority of the week, much of their heated and air conditioned spaces are unused.

But where did the idea of Christ's followers needing to own, or meet in, special kinds of real estate come from? There is no hint of Jesus ever giving his disciples instructions about forming building committees, raising funds for temple construction or electing trustees to look after church property.

On the contrary, Jesus and his apostles made it clear that the current temple of their day wasn't  relevant to the Kingdom of God movement, and it was that insistence, as much as any one thing, that got both Jesus and his follower Stephen killed. "The temple will be destroyed," Jesus declared, and in in the future "Wherever two or more are gathered in my name there I will be in their midst." And he told a Samaritan women, "The day will come when God will be worshiped neither in Jerusalem nor on this mountain (the one sacred to Samaritans)" (John 4). 

In his best selling book, "What Jesus Meant" Catholic author Garry Wills writes, "Jesus did not come to replace the Temple with other buildings, whether huts or cathedrals, but to instill a religion of the heart, with only himself as the place where we encounter the Father."

For the past 27 years Alma Jean and I have been members of a small house church congregation that meets weekly in member homes, much as first century believers did.

We don't claim that ours is the only right way to experience church, but we do believe that Jesus never meant for his followers to be highly dependent on burdensome real estate or a trained and professional clergy to continue Jesus' mission on earth.

And giving more of that money to the poor instead might be the kind of action even unbelievers could understand.

On This Eleventh Day Of Christmas--Pray For Exploited Workers The World Over

Bangladesh garment workers, paid $68 a month

"You have made a fine pile in these last days, haven’t you? But look, here is the pay of the reaper you hired and whom you cheated, and it is shouting against you! And the cries of the other laborers you swindled are heard by the Lord of Hosts himself. Yes, you have had a magnificent time on this earth, and have indulged yourselves to the full."

James 5:3-5 (J.B. Phillips translation)

We hear lots of talk about income inequality in the U.S. these days, and the reality of a widening gap between rich and poor that's only getting worse.

Of course, even the minimum wage working class in this country has benefits most of the world's poor would envy, most of whom will never enjoy amenities like air conditioning, wide screen TV's, cell phones, and many other benefits.

But the fact remains that a God of justice calls for some reasonable form of equity and equality everywhere, both at home and abroad. Surely the Creator never intended some of his children to a enjoy a surplus of wealth while others barely survive and millions around the world are malnourished to the point of starvation.

On the home front, a young adult friend of mine was told he no longer had a job at a Walmart in Richmond, not because he isn't an excellent employee, but because it is their policy to hire as many people as possible for only three months at a time so they do not have to provide health insurance. An older friend of mine, a department manager with a local Walmart for years, can barely make ends meet, and is seldom able to get any overtime pay because of their strict policies against it. Yet this corporation, said to be the most profitable in the world (and with the majority of its stock owned by members of the Walton family) threatened to not build another store in the D.C. area a couple of years ago because the city was about to raise its minimum wage.

It may be OK for us well-to-do folks to disagree over how to best provide a needed safety net for the poor, but it's not acceptable to keep people in poverty because we're afraid we might have to pay a dime more for a hamburger if fast food workers got a fair raise.

And let's not whine about government benefits for those below the poverty line while overlooking all of the ways the wealthy, with the help of a well paid cadre of lawyers and lobbyists, manage to get their own forms of government welfare through tax loopholes large enough to drive their RV's through, along with generous federal subsidies for corporately owned farms and by having poorly paid workers subsidized with food stamps and other benefits so they can afford to work at barely subsistence wages.

The solution to poverty is not more charity, but more opportunity for the able-bodied to earn a living wage, here and everywhere. The Bible says so.

On This Tenth Day Of Christmas--Pray For The Welcome of Strangers And Aliens

"Rest on the Flight into Egypt" Luc-Olivier Merson

"The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God."

Leviticus 19:34 (NIV)

The Bible is a story about immigrants. From the time of his birth, Jesus and his family experienced homelessness, with no room for them in the inn and with their being forced to become refugees in Egypt. Their ancestors Abraham and Sarah were likewise wandering Aramaens, strangers and immigrants on earth, and their Abrahamic descendants were by turn exiles in Egypt, Assyria and Babylon.

Except for native Americans, we are a nation of recent immigrants, and in the case of our local community, a wonderful mix of people representing dozens of different nationalities, languages and cultures.

My prayer on this Tenth Day of Christmas is that we become truly welcoming toward all of our neighbors, inviting them into our homes and into our friendships in the spirit of the text that says, "Do not neglect to show kindness to strangers; for in this way some, without knowing it, have had angels as their guests" (Hebrews 13:2 Weymouth).

I love this Celtic Blessing, referred to as the Irish Rune of Hospitality:

I saw a stranger yesterday;
I put food in the eating place,
drink in the drinking place,
music in the listening place,
and in the name of the Triune
he blessed myself and my house,
my cattle and my dear ones, and the lark said in her song
often, often, often,
goes the Christ in the stranger's guise,
often, often, often, 

goes the Christ in the stranger's guise. 

Here's a link to an earlier refection on "Christians Should Welcome Their Muslim Neighbors".

On This Ninth Day Of Christmas--Pray That The Church Will Embrace Its Closeted Members

“Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you.  Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest. Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.”  

- Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 (ERV)

This piece isn’t meant to address the controversial question of whether the church should receive same-sex couples in committed relationships as members. That’s an important concern every congregation needs to face, to be sure, but this post is about the church being truly pastoral in the way it cares for all of its already committed members, including that silent minority of gays and lesbians among them who wait to be welcomed as a vital part of the church’s conversation on this and all other issues.

On this ninth day of Christmas I am praying that our congregations become totally safe places for people to come out of any imposed isolation and fully walk in the light alongside the rest of us. It’s about our freely loving and fully embracing everyone, celebrating God’s image in each.

We all know cases of sons and daughters of our fellow members, including those of our church leaders, who have either suffered in silence year after year under our "Don't-ask-Don't-tell-and-Don't-talk-about-it" policy or who have quietly left the church and in some cases entered into some kind of partnered relationships. By now most of us realize that differently oriented persons make up around 3-5% of our number, that they are not going away, and that there is growing evidence that they are who they are through no choice of their own. Yet they seldom feel free to tell us what it's like to be in their shoes.

The results have often been tragic, with good people struggling with feelings of intense isolation, self-doubt, spiritual turmoil, social estrangement and even suicide. Our heterosexually dominant church communities are often experienced by these members as unfriendly, inhospitable and rejecting. Thus we have become guilty of inflicting deep hurt to those who are born different from us. I know many of them, some who have poured out their hearts to me in the privacy of my office. They are our sisters and brothers.

So please join me in praying that as a church we will finally pledge, loudly and clearly, that nothing anyone discloses to us about their private life or their secret longings will make it worse for them for having done so. That our love and acceptance, our willingness to walk and talk with each other and to lovingly encourage each other toward faithfulness, will not be affected in any negative way.

We are, after all, all flawed and needy people, each of us in our own way. We need each other's help--and God's help--to work things out, no matter what it takes or how long it takes. We are dedicated to finding Jesus' way, and how we can together take on his well-fitting yoke.

Click here for something I posted on this subject over four years ago, and here for another more recent blog on how this issue is affecting the church

On This Eighth Day Of Christmas--Pray For A Forever End To The Insanity Of War

"God will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore."

Isaiah 2:4 (NIV)

It's hard to imagine a world without weapons. But imagine it we must, if we are to survive on an earth with just enough resources for all, but not enough to waste on ever more efficient instruments of death.

Throughout history people and nations have tried to maintain peace through every means except to follow the example and teachings of the Prince of Peace. We have dismissed as naive Jesus's commands to "love our enemies, pray for them, and do good to them", especially when we realize that kind of response may result in suffering and even crucifixion. We have refused to believe that the only way to peace is through the costly practice of it.

People of faith envision a God-ruled world that will one day result in wolf and lamb lying down together, and have begun to eagerly demonstrate that new way now, just as Jesus and other prophets of peace have done. 

I read an example of this in the December, 2013, issue of Sojourner's magazine, in which a group of Mennonite blacksmiths in Colorado have formed a group called RAWtools, in which they literally do just that. Philadelphia preacher and peace activist Shaine Claiborne narrates a  short Swords to Plows clip about them, one you should be sure to take time to see.

Swords to Plows

So join me in praying on this Eighth Day of Christmas, and on the first day of a new year, for a forever end to the insanity, horror and brutality of armed conflict. From God's perspective, war is over, a thing of the past. God's forever future is all about shalom, harmony and enduring peace.

You and I are invited to become living demonstrations of that reality. It begins wherever, whenever and in whomever God is sovereign.

This is the time. The world can wait no longer.

For more posts on this topic check this link.